Saying Goodbye

           Since we’ve set the date for our departure to the state for Lovers, Jim the boyfriend and I (mostly I) have been making sure to say our final (but not really) goodbyes to everyone.  I met up with most of my friends from college and reminded them I’ll always be a video-chat or email away.  I thought I had said my goodbyes to my home-town friends, but since they don’t live too far away, they say it’s not the last time.  Hopefully they’ll come help us pack up the U-Haul. =).

Last weekend we went to Jim’s family holiday party.  Although he hadn’t seen most of them for at least a year, they were sad to see us go, but excited for us.  Yesterday we saw his Dad’s side of the family and then I’ve got a few more straggler friends and family to party with one last time.

My coworkers at my after-school program have known that I was leaving since September, and most of them are excited for me, but everyone takes it differently.  My boss is very reluctant to let me go.  She once offered me a raise if I agreed to stay ‘til June, but I’m pretty sure she can’t hold to that promise (not that I would take her up on it anyway).  One of my coworkers is in complete denial about me leaving and whenever I bring it up, he says I’ll change my mind and that I’m not really leaving.  I think he’s just upset that no one will be there to cook for him.

Saying goodbye to people is one of the hardest things in the world to do.  Even in this day of technology, when we know we can always email, text, and face time, it can still be difficult to be so far away from friends and family.  But this past Wednesday I experienced the first part of what will, no doubt, be the most difficult goodbye.

I’ve mentioned before that I work with children at an after-school program.  I work with kids grades Kindergarten through 8^th, and most of the kids have known me since kindergarten.  Although I see and work with all of the kids, my primary focus is with the kindergarten and first grade group.  Some of the kids I’ve known for a year or two, but most of them I’ve only known since September.

Wednesday was a half day for the kids, so a large majority of them came to the program.  After lunch we had a meeting, and I officially told all of them I was leaving.  I knew that this was going to be hard for them to understand as most of them have lived in the same town, or at least area, since they were babies.  I started out by asking who had moved from another town, and who had lived in another state.  They got a little confused between living somewhere and going on vacation, but I tried to keep them focused.  And then I explained that at a certain point in their lives, when they’re all grown up, they’ll want to move away from their parents, and that’s what I needed to do.  I told them that I was moving to another state and that I wouldn’t be able to work there, or visit very often because I would be so far away.  We all started to get a little teary, myself included, and some of the kids hugged me and told me they’d miss me.  I told them we had to try and make the next week and half really special and we should try not to waste that time being sad.  They agreed and understood and we started to move onto the next activity.

One little girl named Brooke didn’t take it as well as the other.  I saw her face turning a bright red and she was obviously trying very hard to hold back tears.  I took her into another room and she just sat on my lap and hugged me, and together we just cried and hugged each other.  I told her we both needed to be strong and make the most of the time we had left, but she didn’t let go of me for a good half an hour.

Later, my coworker told me that a little boy named John had turned to her and asked if it was okay to cry.

“Do you feel like you want to cry?” she asked.

“Not now, but next Friday?” he responded.  And of course she said it was okay.

As excited as I am to move away and start a new chapter in my life, I know that there are so many things I am going to miss about my home town of Lincoln, especially those kids and watching them grow up.

Next Friday will be my last day of work and the day that I say goodbye to a vast majority of people who have been constants in my life, some for just 3 months, some for almost my whole life.  I know that some of those little kids will forget me in a few years (I don’t remember most of my babysitters or camp counselors) but I hope that some of them will remember me and I will try to stay in touch.  Everyone that has passed through my life has affected me in some way, and made me the person I am today.  Even though it’s one of the hardest things to do, I know I’ll never really say goodbye.