A Tribute to my Teachers.

I have been lucky enough to have some really amazing teachers in my life so far.  I think most people get one or two teachers that really make an impact on their life.  But I have been extra lucky in having some strong supportive female role models in my day.

My parents have both always been supportive and encouraging of everything I’ve done or wanted to do, but throughout the years I have had some truly amazing teachers.  In elementary school, Mrs. Baxter and Mrs. Lipton fostered my love of reading and writing and taught me how to edit my own work, starting me on my path towards my writing degree.

In high school, Mrs. Yazbeck called me a smart ass the first week of my sophomore year.  I went home and told my dad and he said “you are a smart ass.” She was one of the first teachers I had that was honest with her students about real, adult life.  She had lived in NYC and worked at a law firm and hated it.  She showed me that it is ok to do different things before you settle down—you don’t have to know what you want your career to be by the time you leave high school, or college, or after.  Mrs. Hartt, or more fondly known as Ruthie, started her career at LS the same year I did, and we spent four years together before we both moved on to college (she went back for a Master’s Degree as I went for my BA).  Ruth helped foster my love of singing.  She encouraged me to audition for select groups and solos, but put me in my place when I started getting cocky.  She also attended the same church as me and encouraged me to sing during services, Christmas Eve, and even helped me prepare for singing the National Anthem at the town’s Fourth of July celebration.  Ruthie encouraged me to have faith in myself, and my talent, and gave me the kind of self-confidence it takes to believe in myself.  Although I don’t sing as much anymore, that confidence has stuck with me ever since, helping me through college, bad relationships, getting fit, and my writing career. 

Although Ruth helped me find that confidence, I need reminders sometimes, and that’s where Leah comes in.  The woman who sparked the idea for this blog, Professor Leah Nielsen from Westfield State University is the teacher that every kid wants.  She is one of those teachers that makes you feel like you can do anything, and at the same time, is actually willing to be your friend.  It’s been almost two years now since I graduated college but Leah and I have a few games of Words With Friends and we still talk on facebook regularly.  Leah is the main reason I restarted my blog this year.

After moving to Virginia, I have not had much luck looking for jobs for an entry level writer.  We moved to a remote, country area at least an hour away from any big cities where the creative job markets are. I have a job at the bank to pay the bills, but most days I get homesick and long for a career that I love.  I wonder if I wasted the past four years getting my degree, and if I’ll ever be able to make a career out of writing.  A few weeks ago, after looking into how to become a freelance writer, these thoughts of failure got the best of me.  I wanted to drive 8 hours back to Massachusetts and find my way to her cluttered cubicle and break down crying on her floor.  I did the facebook equivalent of that and poured my heart out in a message to Leah.

Leah’s response to my meltdown was this:

“Jamie, I do not mean to lecture or nag you....I feel like I am doing that and that is not my intent. You have writing talent. A LOT OF IT! Yes, it helps to have a niche market. But you do NOT have to. You do, however, HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOUR TALENT. And I feel like right now you do not believe in yourself. You have everything you need to build a writing career. EVERYTHING. You don't have to live anywhere specific. You don't have to have a niche. You need to know how to write....AND YOU DO. What kind of stuff did you end up doing for the guy in Westfield? Instead of thinking about all you ARE NOT...try thinking about what you ARE. You are talented. You have great time management skills. You have great editing skills. You should be finding all kinds of freelancing clients. People need ghost writers. People need editors. People need people to write cover letters and resumes for them. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING? Why have you convinced yourself you can't do a damn thing? What is going on with you that that is how you are thinking? (I ask that seriously.....why is it you think you have no skills????) You should be keeping a blog (your old one or a new one) and getting followers and marketing yourself as a writer. You cannot get writing gigs without putting yourself out there as a writer.” 

While reading the message, I was brought to tears.  Partly because I was lucky enough to have someone that believes in me so much, and partly because I had let her down.  I had let myself down.   And yet, she was still there—pushing me to get back on track, to start writing again, submitting again, blogging again, applying again.

So this blog post is dedicated to her, and to all the teachers in my life who pushed me to be a better me, and got me where I am today.  Thank you ladies.  I remember and recognize everything you have done and continue to do for me.  I will never forget the patience and persistence that you put into making me see what all of you saw: a talented individual who could be great—if she just stopped giving up on herself.  Thank you for seeing me for who I can become.  And thank you for continuously reminding me.  This one’s for you.